God is not fair, God is generous

I had the privilege of speaking in our series "A Big Step Of Growth" on Generosity.

"Generosity is releasing control of what I think I own" - Pastor Dave Kessler

Falling In Love - Again

During this Christmas season I was blessed to be able to take my oldest daughter out on a daddy daughter date night.  She selected the restaurant - Daddy O's where we dined on mac and cheese, hot dogs, french fries and chocolate malts.  We sat on the stools at the front counter as she leaned against me as we talked and laughed and ate.  She then led me down main street pointing out her favorite decorations of Christmas which led us to a large beautiful Christmas tree in the middle of town.  I took this picture on our walk, by the Christmas tree.  And on this night as she smiled at me in the light of the tree that she had "discovered" I fell deeper in love again with my little girl.  An unexpected blessing in a moment that seemed so simple but was so compelling, wonderful and pure.  I held her little hand as we walked back to the car breathing a prayer of gratitude to God for this tailor-made moment that He had blessed me with.  As I consider how much I love my children, I cannot begin to fathom the Love that God has lavished upon each of us.  I hope that this Christmas you are blessed with a moment of falling deeper in love with someone as I did - that unexpected moment that cannot be faked or worked up, that moment that takes you to a profound place of clarity with your priorities and your burdens, your reason and your truth.  In that moment may you evaluate  again the love God has for you.  God loved us enough to give His only Son, to save the world through Him.  On this Christmas may you celebrate God falling in love with you again.  Merry Christmas.

A Table For Two

Psalm 145:4 One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts. (NIV)

In 2008 my wife Susie and I were blessed, by the church I was serving, to attend an Arts Conference where we heard worship leader Ross Parsley speak. Ross spoke about worship in a multi-generational church. One of the metaphors that Ross presented is one that has stuck with me and that has value for us to consider as a picture of the multi-generational church family. The metaphor that Ross used was “family happens at the dinner table”. Let's hang on to Ross's thought as we pursue what this metaphor can help us to understand in becoming a multi-generational family of God.
Imagine the atmosphere and the cadence of dinner when it is just you and your spouse on a date, sitting comfortably at a table for two. It's quiet, calm, the lighting is low, a good waiter serves the meal but is careful to not trespass in the moment shared between a husband and wife at a table for two. The meal that is received is presented in single portions on individual plates. The food is displayed in colorful, creative, and unique ways, adding additional elements of celebration to this moment with you and your spouse, at a table for two. As an assistant pastor, seminary student, husband, and father of two little girls, six and eight years old, “A table for two, please” sounds like the most wonderful phrase I can imagine coming out of my mouth right now. We unquestionably need table for two time, but a table for two is not the table where family happens. As a church, we cannot neglect the multi-generational table and still expect to grow and thrive as a church family.
In contrast, consider an all-family, multi-generational dinner. Forget the quiet table for a couple to share, this is a table for a couple dozen to share. The meal that is received at the family table is served in deep bowls and on large platters that can be passed and shared with everyone. The multi-generational family table is not the tranquil and composed table for two, the family table is filled with energy and excitement. This atmosphere, at the multi-generational family table, is at times lively and boisterous. The cadence and moments at the multi-generational family table are enthusiastic and unpredictable. “Family happens at the dinner table”.
For the church it is easy to feel the appealing and subtle draw of reaching out to only one generation. After all, it is straightforward and undemanding to have dinner with people who are just like us. The conversation flows in an informal and relaxed exchange, the jokes are funny and do not need to be explained. Dinner with people just like us, people of the same generation, people with shared life experience, brings a comforting “we just get each other” flavor to the gathering. There are moments when this type of gathering is completely appropriate, but as a church we must not mistake this one generation table for two as being the church family.
Dr. Bob Whitesel, professor at Wesley Seminary, and Dr. Kent Hunter present in their book “A House Divided: Bridging the Generation Gaps in Your Church” that their “observation is that the leading reason churches are declining is because most are staffed, programmed, and envisioned to reach one generation.” When a church is content reaching only one generation, the church is, in effect, offering only a table for two. This can seem like an effective model but the one generation church will risk what Whitesel and Hunter term as “geriatrophy”. Geriatrophy is a congregational illness that is the result of a church remaining a one generational church, a table for two church, instead of a table for the whole family. Whitesel and Hunter clearly state that “geriatrophy can be successfully treated if the community has retained a portion of its younger generations.” We need every generation at the table for family to happen. This may mean that the church needs to reconsider its current model of ministry. We, as a church, have to consider if we love our table for two more than we love the unchurched that, as of yet, do not have a place at the family table.
The multi-generational family table requires an extreme amount of preparation and investment before, during and after the meal, but this work is part of being a family. This multi-generational dinner metaphor helps us consider how the hard work and care we invest in these moments has a tremendous impact on the experience and the familial growth of each generation in our church family.
Family celebrations are an obvious example of multi-generational events. At multi-generational gatherings, thoughtfulness and care are invested into each offering of food, surroundings, special moments, and prayer. Some dishes are prepared not because everyone at the table enjoys them but because specific generations in the family enjoy them. Each offering of food is prepared specifically to bless and nourish individuals of each generation gathered at the table. The youngest generation may need help in understanding and risking participation in consuming the wide variety of distinct flavors, colors, textures and aromas. The oldest generation may need help just getting to the table and receiving what is offered during the meal.
Continuing with the metaphor, “Family happens at the table”, we can observe generational behaviors and reactions. Parents caring for and assisting grandparents models for the multi-generational church how we are to love one another. Children seeing how the entire family walks through times of transition and times of celebration, giving God praise throughout, helps them see God as the unshakable foundation of the family. Grandparents intentionally seeking out the time and attention of their grandchildren, helps to foster a mutual love and respect across generations. A multi-generational gathering is not about everyone getting their way, but rather it is about thoughtfully and compassionately preparing an atmosphere where each generation is loved, blessed and nourished.
As we follow this metaphor it, of course, is not perfect. If God is not the initiator of our response, if He is not the source of all that we are in awe of and grateful for, then we risk being motivated not by awe and gratitude but rather by the motivation of performance and of pleasing man alone.
In considering how this can work, let's take a look at the Thanksgiving table, for example. Often there is an opportunity, after each dish has been lovingly prepared, for the family to share with one another a testimony of gratitude before the prayer is offered. This moment at the table can be a wonderful example of generations learning from each other, similar to Paul's urging in Titus 2. As grandma speaks and testifies to what she is grateful for, her children and her grandchildren can learn from her example and grow in their respect of her wisdom, experience and resources. This time at the multi-generational gathering is Psalm 145:4 lived out as “one generation commends [God's] works to another; they tell of your mighty acts.” This is a time when families and generations can sing, laugh and remember together, they can taste the tears of laughter in joyful nostalgia, and gently recall the bitter taste of heartache and family loss. Every family has gone through the moment of coming together for a multi-generational gathering with heavy hearts as the physical gathering of the generations around the table clearly reminds the family of who no longer sits at the table as they once did. When God is the head of the family, these moments point to the hope that the family knows will not disappoint.
As the children and grandchildren share in their testimony of thanksgiving, the older generations can participate in cheering the younger on, in encouraging them to fully consider all that the Lord has done. This encouragement and and sincere concern by the older generation is critical in helping younger generations learn what it looks like to live life letting “the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.” Colossians 3:16 (NIV). This requires respect among each generation and a greater desire to see others receive rather than making certain that you get what you want on your plate. The church must recapture the concept of a family, a family that offers gratitude and praise to “Our Father”. During these times at the table, at the multi-generational gatherings we begin to pick up our core values as a family, along with our unique family goals, expectations and burdens. The most significant core value that is assimilated at these multi-generational gatherings is that God is the undisputed head of this family.
Terry York, in the Journal Of Family Ministry writes, “Moving your congregation to cross-generational worship will take work, even if you now enjoy full-family attendance. But the work will be worth it if the result is a congregation that lives, celebrates, and mines life's journey and passages. Such a congregation will be able to address the needs presented by the whole of society, not just a selected generation.” Stepping forward into a multi-generational service is not a time to plan on our favorite table for two, this is a time of unity, of mutual respect, of creativity and of shared risk. It will, at times, be noisy, and it will most likely have moments that are messy. There will be times when generations have to be patient while other generations share. We will need to cooperate and not be selfish as we pass around the elements of the meal, all while becoming a family together at the table.



Eric H. Wing is a graduate student at Wesley Seminary at IWU and serves as an assistant pastor at the Midland Free Methodist Church in Midland, Michigan.

References
Whitesel, B. (2004). Growth by accident, death by planning : how not to kill a growing
congregation. Nashville, TN Abingdon Press.
Whitesel, Bob & Hunter, Kent R. (2000). A House Divided:Bridging The Generation Gaps In Your Church. Nashville, TN Abingdon Press
York, T. (2002). Cross-generational worship. Journal of Family Ministry, 16(4), 33-46. Retrieved from ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials database.

Following The Shepherd

I had the chance to preach on John 10, and ask the question, what does it look like to follow the Shepherd?

Ground Breaking At MFMC

We broke ground together as a church for our new office/training and student ministries building. We are very excited to see how God continues to grow His church and His people. Check out the video of the ground breaking here

Humility - Singing Mary's Song

I had the privileged of teaching on humility and in this message I share what God has been teaching me about being humble. Humility is being honest about my current condition so that God can do miraculous things through me. You can listen to this message with the player below.

Ready For A New Season

I'm ready for the new season to begin. It's going to be a great fall, following one of the best summer's ever. In this past year I have been blessed to see God at work in His people and in His church. He has been faithful, His promises have been true. He has been present, he has never left me on my own. He has blessed and he has provided in ways that have changed me and my family forever. I am blessed to work on a team that does not punt, it is wonderful to be part of a team that seeks only to give God glory - nobody is looking for credit, they are looking for how we can glorify God - I praise God for that. I have also been blessed with deeply intimate and profound friendships - I praise and thank God for that. It's been a great year.

In this past year we have lived in seven different places, they were all nice but they weren't ours. Today I write this post in the kitchen of a beautiful apartment that God has blessed us with. It's ours, it's very nice, it feels like home - Thank you Lord.

This past year we, like many others walked through the gunk of selling a home in Michigan. After being on the market over a year, we were blessed to close on our home just a few days ago. I thank God for His provision in selling our home and in providing a great real estate agent to help us through that part of our journey.

This year I was also blessed to baptize my oldest little girl. As a dad and as a pastor, that's got to be about the coolest thing I could ever be part of - period. I thank God for that blessing. The little video is of Katie getting baptized.

Today I was blessed to be able to bring the message. My senior pastor is fantastic - It is a great privilege to fill the pulpit for him when he is gone. This past year has been a time of growth for God's church. Even today (Labor Day Sunday) our attendance pushed forward in growth and we added an extra row of chars to the back row for our second service. God is doing great things. I am blessed to witness how He is healing and restoring, how he is meeting the needs of His children in ways that can only be God.

Blessing on top of blessing - that's last year with the Lord. I am looking forward to all that God has for me and for His church in this new season. I want to live life remembering all He has done for me and looking forward to all that He has for me this fall season.

Think small, Imagine big

I feel myself leaning forward into the next season of my walk. Standing at the new beginnings of serving His call on my life in more vivid and pronounced ways. There is enough journey behind me to know there will be curves ahead of me, and still I lean into the next step. Putting weight and significance into my walk is bringing with it a distinct forward momentum - I want to get where He is calling me to. Some of the journey He is calling me too seems way to big for me to ever tackle. Some I am excited to get to, and some I'm excited to get out of. I sense God is going to move in strong ways this summer and I want to part of that moving.

Willow Creek has a Christmas program they have called "Imagine" and the promo line for the program keeps coming back to mind as I consider all that lay ahead. The promo line is "Think small, imagine Big". It has made me think of these verses in a different way.

Proverbs 3:5-7

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil

Ephesians 3:17-21
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Think small, Imagine big.

I am excited about this season, I am going to give myself to listen and obey - I want to lean forward into the walk - with the advantadge of Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine - I want to think small and imagine big.

Great Taste, More Filling

I am having a blast, and I am being filled again and again as I partner with a staff that is doing all we can to give God glory. Every week as part of our Podcast production we record a conversation to tag on to the end of the Podcast. This has become a great time during the week. The last two conversations have been unguarded and Spirit led. These weekly conversations have become a blessing to be part of. I am also blessed to have moved my family this week into a place we can unpack our boxes after seven months of storage - the girls have been discovering forgotten toys and screaming like boiled kittens with unspeakable joy. I, however, have discovered that many of my forgotten toys have been mysteriously donated to Good Will- I gently weep.

Answers

Today we are publishing a new video that I am very excited about. This video was shot and edited by Dan Goodell our youth director. Dan is a good friend and an extremely talented part of our team. I am blessed to be able to serve in such an anointed and creative environment.

I'm In a Cartoon!

I have a wonderful friend, who happens to be a great artist, who drew me in a cartoon that was published in a magazine. Seriously - I had no idea how good it would be to be used, even slightly, as an image for a cartoon, but today I know this sweet rich chocolaty joy. And oh sweet potato-cakes do I look fine as a cartoon! As I drink in this tremendous moment, I also feel the burning unrestrained, unfettered, unsaturated jealousy of the rest of the , "un-drawn" as I now call them, pastoral staff. Oh yes, for the "un-drawn" it is indeed a dark, lonely, un-shadowed existence. Any reference to - standing in line, reading between the lines, drawing a conclusion, or simply asking them again and again "did you see my cartoon?", brings low mournful groans from deep inside their "un-drawn" bodies. Anyway, being a cartoon will definitely be included in my list of skills. I think this Sunday I'll sing the Chris Rice "Cartoon Song" to open service. That's all folks.